Bon Voyage~ my dear Kim

Just sent Kim off to KLIA few hours ago, she's going to UK to futher her study, and she's now in Bankok waiting for another flight. She goes there for 2 years, but will come back for summer break, yet I can get to meet her only on next year, either May or June. Omg, nearly half a year man, I'm gonna miss her like crazy.

I have promised her to buy a webcam so that we can see each other more often. haha... although I know there are thousand of people out there queuing up wanting to see her thru webcam, ya, she's famous like that, haha. =) Anyway, I still will try my best to shorten our distance by using nowadays technologies. *lame*

Well, on my way home from KLIA to Kajang, lot of things came into my mind.

I started to re-think what I've been thinking and worrying these few days. Those things didn't come in order, they randomly showed up to me and I'm totally stuck in the status of mess.

I'm so unsatisfied with what I'm doing currently.

I just can't seem to join the conversation which is about abroading, unfamiliar city name, latest currency blablabla during the dinner just now. Not first time though. I felt myself being that tiny when it comes to knowledge or even common sense, I can't even find a word to add. I'm not actually depressed because I failed to contribute in that particular conversation. What's annoying me was my value of living.

Ok, make things clearer, I'm worried bout myself. I found myself standing still on the starting-point, aiming nothing and heading nowhere.

Friends and cousin were clear enough of what they're really want and fight for it. What they're doing or did had waken me up, from being the daddy's little girl.

I've taken everything for granted. I thought money will drop from the sky, I blamed daddy for not sending me to study abroad, I think everyone should like me as who I am, I assumed that I'm more to ready to welcome my future.

I just found myself so wrong, I can ruin my myself like this, maybe not that serious, but yet, I'm so lost.

I'm worrying bout my level of knowledge, bout my plan for the future, bout my ability to 'sustain' without supports from others.... about thousand of things. I am just so lost, I no longer know myself.

I didn't keep it all to myself, I told some of my friends. Some said it's pointless to worry bout all these, let the nature take it course. Some said it's never too late to realise these. Some find it's funny.

I dare not to voice out any plan that has come across my mind as I will just throw it away when tomorrow comes. People who knows me well will just agree with my big plan today and listen to my complains on the other day, and things kept on repeating.

Pathetically, I am so ashame of myself, in every way. I don't know what I really want.

As a friend said, changes can't be done in just a second, it takes days, weeks or even years. Afterall, I am the only one who able to decide which path I would be walking, and what life I would be living.

I don't feel like wasting my time anymore. I wan't a new life. I need to improve myself. It may sounds funny and so unreal for you, but I have bear enough of my current life. It is just enough.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, finish declaring part of my thoughts. Let's show you guys some photos I've taken few days/weeks back.

Went Amuleto, Midvalley with Phoebe and Kim. I dislike the food there, in short, there's a NNT for me.

Random photos that we taken on last Sunday, at Didi's wedding dinner. Please forgive me for being that random, as I told you, I am in mess. *Slap me please*

Yuen Tze and I. We're match like a couple, don't we? You know he's my cousin.

Eliceta and I. She's becoming feminine while I'm getting older. *sweat*

Cousin. Yit Ga Yin.

End of randomness.

Back to Kim.
I am glad to have you as my listener, I enjoy trying new restaurant with you, I am willing to share my secret with you, I am blessed to have you as my friend. *heart*

Wei, study smart but not study hard ya, haha, enjoy your life over there and update me more about you, through whatever way, don't make me miss you that much, you know that I can't stand it.

Wish you all the best and take good care ya. As I said, I will always love you. muahhahaha. *geli* *huggies*

Okla, Bon Voyage my dear friend.

今天的夜很静，客厅里只听见风扇、纸袋和MSN的声音。

从今以后，再也不会听到从楼下传来的电视声。因为听觉不再灵敏，您会把声量调到很高，您最喜欢看Astro 的华丽台和TVB星河频道。有时经过楼梯间，探头往下看，看着您一个人在看电视的背影，会觉得您很孤单，想坐在您的身边陪您，却又害怕没话说，会很怪。现在想起来还觉得真笨，没什么好顾虑的。

您，绝不会偏心，不像家里的长辈们，习惯重男轻女。您的关心，简单而窝心。我和您喜爱的食物相似，每当家里有准备我们喜欢的食物时，您总会和我分享。

小时候的我很野蛮也很调皮。三年级那年的儿童节，老师发神经，不让我们庆祝，残忍的要我们听着隔壁班的孩子们的玩乐声继续上课。结果，我很自以为是的投了两毛钱进公共电话，拨了通电话向您诉苦，然后若无其事的回班上课。十分钟后，您就拿着大包小包的，糖果、零食、气球站在我班的门口，要求老师让我们庆祝儿童节。老师顿时傻了眼... 当然，我们停止了上课，开心地庆祝儿童节!老师拿我没办法，还叫班上的同学跟我道谢，我也很骄傲的回了一句不用客气。其实，最大功劳非您莫属!哈哈哈! 觉得您很可爱也很伟大。

您很关心我们的学业，所以每当考到好成绩时，一定会向您报告，您也会高兴的说“很好!很好!”。还有，我不会忘记是您教我除法的，对，小时候的除法很烂。您放心，学业方面我不会令您失望的。

到现在，我的脑海里还不断地重复着星期日晚上在医院里的画面。看着您从ICU转到普通病房，看着您从清醒到昏迷，看着您无助的眼眶里眼泪不停地在打转，我也只能强忍泪水，帮您将眼泪擦干，轻轻地握着您的手，试图安慰您，说很快就可以回家了。那一晚的一切，不停的盘旋着，所有的呼唤声，哭喊声，不舍一直浮现在我眼前。我们没怪您放弃了打这场战，您很坚强，尽了您最大的能力，撑到了最后。

再多的不舍，再多的遗憾，再多的泪水，您也不会回来了。

亲爱的外公，安息吧...我会永远爱您的。

好好地珍惜身边的人吧，千万别让自己后悔。